Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
