remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
