How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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