So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
