Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
