ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
