TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize