Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
now i know why i became what i already was.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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