it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
