If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
