I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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