She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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