You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
from now on my penis is your penis
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You smell like stripper and shame
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
