so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Randomize