Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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