I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
