i may or may not be watching the land before time
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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