Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
