someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
