At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
