Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize