Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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