Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
