The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
