Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
