dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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