The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
