Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
