McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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