i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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