I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
false alarm. still invincible.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
