i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
