I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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