We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
