What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
