Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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