How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
