She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
