All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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