Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
