whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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