bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
