Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
