You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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