I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
