using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
