This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
