What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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