Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
