Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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