Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
