I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
