Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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