Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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