apparently the secret to your success is patron
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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