Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
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