i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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