Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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