come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
