babies were throwing up all over the place
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
