im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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