You're completely useless in the revolution.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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