i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
