it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Are we still banned from the library?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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