This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
