would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
