At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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