Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
