Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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